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January 22, 2022, 03:50:45 pm


SMF - Just Found the News Section and How to Change This Headline!

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Topics - JalkieWarriors

Processed Trades / [5] Warriors - Timberwolves
January 12, 2022, 09:01:34 pm
Timberwolves receive:
GSW 2128 second

Warriors receive:
Jeje Gaspardo
Processed Trades / [3] Rockets - Warriors
January 05, 2022, 12:49:45 pm
Warriors Receive:
Clay Mitchell
The kisses from the max trade

Rockets Receive:
GSW 30 second rounder
69 tbd

Ily Bryant
News Articles / Warriors Announce Next Coach
December 24, 2021, 11:14:52 am

Coach Tre Es has decided to step down once his prized Bobby Boucher and Kneebo Chad retire. Coach Es has said he is now the Lorax and speaks for the trees so he will be relocating to Montana because "fuck the palm trees." Kneebo Chad has agreed to take the reigns once his tenure as player is over.
"Coach has been amazing, got Golden State back to relevance and we even got a ring, but since then he's been a bit.. not right. He screams at us if we play defense anymore. Saying that defense is the 'debil' - whatever that means. I wish him and his trees nothing but the best. I know our GM is very shaken up about this as he can no longer do his dances worshipping the trees with Coach, but I'll try to learn. I love it here and it's looking like I always will." - Kneebo Chad
GM Jake had just this to say about the situation, "Kneebo is a true Warrior. I thank Coach trees for everything and just ask that the trees watch over us from now on."
Draft Board / 2127 Rename Raffle DOUBLE DRAW
December 07, 2021, 04:56:35 pm
One ticket is 1TBD.  Will run after sim 2. One winner per drawing, and if you're a conference finalist in the current season you do not qualify for this event. (minimum purchase is 10 tickets and maximum purchase is 100 tickets)

NOTE: If you already have a rename, you are NOT allowed to enter. Sorry guys :(
News Articles / GM's choice 2126 Nominations
December 07, 2021, 04:54:34 pm
You know what to do.
Processed Cuts / Signings / Warriors cut Richard Cromer
November 12, 2021, 02:22:35 pm
Not done in program
News Articles / 2123 GM's Choice Awards
October 19, 2021, 11:38:14 pm
Last season was a wild ride, some didn't see the Rockets come out of nowhere or predict the rise of the king of Wakanda. While others, I'm not sure exist, I'm looking at you Rick and Richard. We had the unfortunate departure of Dan of the Portland Trail Blazers, but maybe the new guy will be better (isn't gonna be that hard).

Without further ado, your awards.

We'll start with the obvious one, not the first on the ballot.
Rookie of the Year: King T'Challa, Rockets(technically 100% votes)
Many had harsh reactions when Bryant traded 7 picks to move up to draft T'Challa and Bryant wasted no time in proving everyone wrong. This guy is a STUD. Not much to be said. In a league lacking elite defensive bigs that don't foul. T'Challa will be an MVP candidate for years to come, barring any unfortunate leg issues or not practicing in the offseason. Fun story however, even though he was the only option on the ballot, three GMs skipped the option so technically, he is not unanimous due to 3 abstinations.

6th Man of the Year: Daniel Harris, Jazz (now Grizzlies)(85.7% votes)
Pom decided to blow it up after losing to me again in the playoffs, an embarrassment really. Who would lose to the Warriors? Anyways, Harris had one hell of a season in 2123-2124. In 82 games at 31 minute per game, Harris 17.9 points on 59.2% TS. The dude is the gosh darn paterfamilias. Now leading Memphis Harris looms in Winston Stitches's shadow in the attempt to bring Memphis back to the playoffs after a brief hibernation for the Grizzlies.

Most Improved: Marshall Edwards, Heat (now Rockets)(50% votes)
Though Edwards left the ever so coveted city of Miami for Houston this offseason, he made leaps and bounds in his game last season. Scoring 23.5 points in 82 games on 36.4 minutes per game on 56.9%(nice) TS. This was an increase of just under seven points per game. Now that Marshall is PAID, he joins the aforementioned King T'Challa and company to try to push for a ring.

Defensive Player of the Year: Michel Jones, Magic (now Nuggets)(53.3% votes)
Yet another award winning player who left their team to join another in this past offseason. Not much to be said about Michel that already hasn't been said. He's sticky. He's a monster. But what fucking kind of name is Michel?

All League Center: Kozja Macka, Hornets (73.3% votes)
Your reigning program MVP is the obvious choice for all league center. Macka is really good. That is all.

All league Forwards: Bobby Boucher, Warriors(86.7% votes) and Broderick Evans, Bulls(53.3% votes)
Brody leads the Bulls to yet another ring and we're all frankly sick of it. While Max is bathing in his rings, he still sheds a tear remembering when Fred broke his jaw. Brody is a monster and has been since entering the league. Whether it was by himself, next to Fred, or more recently with Kevin Anguiano. He has always been a great defender and scorer.

Once again, the obvious choice Bobby Boucher is elected to another all league appearance. Since the decline of Kamil SVATOS, many see Bobby as one of the best forwards, if not the best in the year. Bobby may have had a down year last season, but still lead his Warriors to their third conference finals appearance in a row where the lost to the will of the Nuggets.

All league Guards: Kevin Anguiano, Bulls(53.3% votes) and Richard Keck, Celtics(46.7% votes)
Gasper's newest star, Richard Keck gets voted into his all league guard appearance. After a long tank, Gasper is finally ready. With Keck at the helm, the ceiling is as far as Keck will take them. Keck dominated all season and rightfully earned this position. hehe dick keck

Anguiano has tormented the league since entering and with the Bulls he has only been better. Winning his second ring with the team and demanding MVP votes, Anguiano just laughs and drains threes in everyone's faces. Greg Thompson didn't stand a chance.

MVP: Kozja Macka, Hornets(40% votes)
Macka Macka Macka. What can't be said about this man? 30.1 points per game on 34.2 minutes on 57.7% efficiency scoring a total of 2,471 points. Leading Charlotte to an eighth seed upset over the 1 seeded Celtics. Macka seeks to only improve with Charlotte this coming season. Just an insane player.

GM of the Year: Bryant, Rockets(57% votes)
Bryant, you won the West. You made the moves that needed to be made. What a year it was until you lost in round 2.... Anyways, Bryant had one hell of a season with his trades to bring in King T'Challa, Hyman Bates, Robert Joyce, Alfonso Davis, Tyrell Jones, and Tre Jones. All of those were key to being the best in the West. Now that Rocketbear is out of hibernation, the West best watch out.

Coach of the Year: Evan, Nuggets(3 votes)
Evan, you have had your fair share of unlucky moments. However, you overcame the injury to Ronald Hernandez and made a freakin finals run. That's all that matters. What a coaching performance in the playoffs man. Very impressive to everyone in the league.

Most missed alumni: Oldrich Luba(26.7% votes)
Seems like everyone just is dying for a defensive big, but y'all really miss Ostrich Lube. I don't remember much about him if I am honest, but as a source of Evan's unlucky slant I guess I can see why.

Best Rename: "Whatshisname -> Kozja Macka"(33.3% votes)
Dude, Adam couldn't you remember who tf you renamed come on. Anyways this means GOAT Cat or something and he's from know it all univeristy I think? A very well thought out rename. I'm just happy that the Nichols didn't win.

Draft Board / 2125(?) rename raffle oops
October 14, 2021, 01:10:16 pm
One ticket is 1TBD.  Will run after sim 2. One winner per drawing, and if you're a conference finalist in the current season you do not qualify for this event. (minimum purchase is 10 tickets and maximum purchase is 100 tickets)
Processed Trades / [8] 76ers - Jazz - Warriors
October 11, 2021, 08:05:47 pm
Warriors receive:
Sammy White(from Jazz)

76ers receive:
HH Holmes Jr.(from Warriors)

Jazz receive:
76ers 2127 first(from 76ers)
Processed Trades / [3] Warriors - Jazz
October 10, 2021, 01:25:50 am
Warriors send:
2126 first
2127 second

Jazz send:
Melchor Carbonell
News Articles / 2123 GM's Choice nominations
October 05, 2021, 05:25:09 pm
The usual MVP, DPOY, ROY(although I think we all know who it'll be), 6MOTY and MIP would be greatly appreciated for nominations. First team all pro at C, Forward, and Guard as well.
Processed Trades / [1] Warriors - Timberwolves
September 26, 2021, 02:58:41 pm
Warriors receive:
Andrew Boucher

Timberwolves Receive:
Chris Gupta
GSW 26 second
News Articles / THE 2122 GM's Choice Awards
September 23, 2021, 01:08:39 pm
It's that time of year and it's back! I am sadly your host (and your current champion) to go on some wild rides this GM's choice. I am sorry there is no pictures on this thread. I'll just attach a video in the WA chat. Suck it, Doc.

Firstly I'd like to go over and thank our voter by saying their demographics.
We had 5 of 15 GMs from the East vote, and 11 of 14 from the West! Even Jesus voted!

6th Man of the Year
Our first award is 6th man of the year!
Our runner up, with 25% of the votes is Ed Brown of the Minnesota Timberwolves who did have a pretty good season, but not good enough to top our winner, Jerry Orman of the Utah Jazz who accumulated 44% of the votes! Conga rats to Jerold! Shame you got swept in the finals, but hey I'm sure you'd take that instead of the whole Isidoro Erosa thing..

Most Improved Player
In this award we had a tie for both the runner up and victor.
Our runner ups are Lee Munoz of the Detroit Pistons and Merle Chan of the Rockets who each received 13% of the vote. Both of these players went on revenge tours this past season to show the league that they mean business. Shame the Rockets tanked for the king of Wakanda or they might have actually made playoff buzz. Munoz on the other hand helped lead a stingy Detroit defense in his GM, Janez's last ride where they just fell short after losing to the Magic in the ECF.

Okay onto our winners. With a third of the votes respectively we have Anthony Edwards of the Phoenix Suns and Gregory Thompson of the Wizards! Anthony Edwards put up MVP-like numbers in scoring this past season by leading the league in points per game when his GM, Ed was abducted by aliens and sadly missed the season.. Meanwhile in most of our nation's capital Greg T was sniping all season long! Will he follow in Riley Golden's footsteps and be traded as soon as he's not on a cheap contract? Only time and maybe Brian will tell.

Rookie of the Year
Our first award where someone who was nominated did not receive any votes. Sorry Jacques Johnson of the Clippers. Our runner up however was one of the first nominees for this award, Ed Brown of the Minnesota Timberwolves with 20% of the votes! Ed has now been the runner up for two awards. Get better and maybe you'll win one.

Our victor with 53% of the votes is, you guessed it Juozas Lubinas of the Chicago Bulls! Lubinas spent all season finding giant holes and sloppily penetrating straight through those cracks to score for Chicago. Shame he slipped and got hurt a couple times and cannot make free throws.

Rim Job Protector of the Year
For this award, it finished in a three way tie. Michel Jones of the Orlando Magic, Robert Melendez of the Seattle SS, and Wilford Nichols III of the Orlando Magic, all former teammates all ended with 25% of the votes. How did Ken not win a ring with all three of them?

All-League Center
Kozja Macka won this one. Dominating for his hive.

All-League Forwards
Our first all-league forward requires no introduction for he's your reigning spaghetti MVP and was one vote shy of unanimously becoming all-league center, with 98% of the votes you have Mr. High quality H2O himself, Bobby Boucher of the Warriors! He should still be named Ogukeye Dijeme, but we won't talk about that. As for our second selection at all-league forward there was a tie with Kamil SVATOS of the Cleveland Cavaliers and Daren Geller of the Detroit Pistons receiving 31% of the votes. Geller, who many declare to be a first ballot Hall of Famer and has been a Pistons centerpiece for years will be finding a new home after being waived by the Minnesota Timberwolves today, but that will not stop him from knowing how to put ball in hole. SVATOS on the other hand will be looking at property all around North America this off-season. Many wonder how he'll do in what could possibly be his last ride in Brown Town.

All-League Guards
A much closer race than all-league forwards and center, but nonetheless this award was filled with stars! And Vito Patterson! Our first, besting Sammy White of the Utah Jazz by one vote for the second spot is Kevin 'The Iguana' Anguiano. Once a staple of the Brooklyn Nets, Anguiano has found a very fitting home in Chicago next to Broderick Evans (who is still recovering from when Fred broke his jaw). We all know who Anguiano is. Your other all-league guard with 56% of the vote is Wilford Nichols III! Shame he lost in the finals though. Couldn't handle Kneebo.

First I'll go over who received votes. Kevin Anguiano and Kamil SVATOS both got 12.5% of the votes, but that was not enough. Our runner up, Kozja Macka of the Charlotte Hornets received 18.8% of the votes! Macka popped off last season for the bee boys and many thought had a chance at spaghettis MVP to just be edged out ( ;) ) by your GM's choice MVP in Bobby Boucher! Bobby carried a bottom-tier GM to his first ring this past season and dominated in the playoffs. Those playoffs included a 9 game win streak en route to being like his idol, Captain Insaneo and showing no mercy.

GM of the Year
This one was not very close and yours truly, Jake of the Warriors won with 8 votes (which was over half because Idoine didn't vote for either GM of the year or Coach of the year.) I'm not gonna say anything, but looks like I might be able to evaluate talent, Evan.

Coach of the Year
The award goes to David Ho! Wait, no wrong card that was David Ho's auto insurance business card my b. This one was a bit closer than GM of the year. FOR SECOND PLACE. Adam of the Grizzlies and Janez both received 2 votes while your truly received 8 votes. I got nothing to say really.
Also, Sen RBSL Champion Ronnie "The Logo" White received a vote....?

Other Superlatives
The league almost unanimously gave Zach an award so he couldn't compain and gave Billy Madison of the Seattle SS Most likely to star in a Hollywood movie. Veronica, he thanks you for beating the shit out of him. O'Doyle does not rule, it seems.

For your best bromance the majority of the league chose Vito Patterson and his right hand, going against Alex's ultra sex lord agenda. lmao rip alex.

GMOTY and COTY: Jake, Warriors
6th man: Jerry Orman, Jazz
MIP: Anthony Edwards, Suns and Gregory Thompson, Wiz kids tied
ROTY: lubed anus
DPOY: Wilf tree, melendez, and michel jones all tied
All-league center: lubed anus
All-league forwards: Bobby Boucher and a tie between SVATOS and Geller
All-league guards: Wilf tree and Iguana
MVP: Bobby Boucher
Most likely to star in a movie: Billy Madison
Best Bromance: Vito and his right hand
Processed Trades / [5] warriors - 76ers
September 21, 2021, 11:46:24 am
76ers send
2 teebs

Warriors send:
Draft Board / 2124 Rename Raffle
September 09, 2021, 03:12:42 pm
One ticket is 1TBD.  Will run after sim 2. One winner per drawing, and if you're a conference finalist in the current season you do not qualify for this event. (minimum purchase is 10 tickets and maximum purchase is 100 tickets)
News Articles / GM’s Choice Nominations
September 08, 2021, 10:42:11 am
If you have anyone you would like to nominate for the typical GM's Choice Awards post them below and I'll take them into consideration :^)
Processed Cuts / Signings / Warriors cuts
August 22, 2021, 09:14:55 pm
Eric Wu
Rodrick Atwell
Chris Thacker
Lewis Moore
Leroy Spencer
DeColdest Crawford
Dave Hall
Calvin Hobbes
Draft Board / 2123 rename raffle
August 12, 2021, 04:36:48 pm
One ticket is 1TBD.  Will run after sim 2. One winner per drawing, and if you're a conference finalist in the current season you do not qualify for this event. (minimum purchase is 10 tickets and maximum purchase is 100 tickets)

I can't take part in this one :(
Processed Cuts / Signings / Warriors sign Dreyer
July 24, 2021, 09:00:01 am